High Functioning Depression: A Self-help Guide for Unsupported Black Women 

What’s most annoying about high functioning depression in Black women is how well it thrives in plain sight. 

And yet it ranks rock bottom on the list of depressions that Black women get support for.

We have mastered the performance—have a stable job, clear skin, and Instagram captions so slay that not even the AI designed to predict depression tendencies from social media posts could detect depression in us.

Black women get depressed and go ahead to get a PhD. 

We get depressed and build multimillion-dollar business enterprises. 

We gangsta! 

BUT NOT OKAY. 

We go into our rooms and cry after being a nice friend. 

We fall apart – but not enough to be taken seriously. 

If any part of this feels too familiar and you have been seeking support, here is a self-help guide for high-functioning depression, and it’s here for you to use, revisit, and lean on whenever needed.

This guide breaks down:

Why High-Functioning Depression in Black Women Is Often Missed

High functioning depression and anxiety in Black women are nothing like classic symptoms of depression like these.

Rather, Black women present with more overlooked depressive symptoms like

• Migraines that won’t stop
• Tension in our necks, jaws, and shoulders that wen just call “stress”
• Tight chest or shortness of breath
• Gut issues, back pain, exhaustion, or hormone imbalances that doctors don’t take seriously
• Constant overthinking that shows up as insomnia or forgetfulness
• Decreased libido 
• Increased irritability 
• Isolating yourself and putting up a brave face in public
• Not having anyone to talk about these issues with

Thanks to years of pressure, like pressure to graduate, to not go back to the “hood,” and to be everything that our great-grandparents never had the chance to be. 

Thanks to years of systemic oppression, Black people have grown one too many spines. And trained their children to do so too. 

“Be twice as good.” 

“Don’t show any sign of weakness.”

And so healthcare providers who rely on textbook symptoms of depression dismiss Black women’s concerns about depression and anxiety. 

To help yourself understand and demand the proper care you need, here are a few early but critical signs of high functioning depression that I’ve discovered as a Black mental health therapist. 

Watch it when you have a moment. It will help you determine how much help you will need. 

Self-Help Tips for Unsupported High-Functioning Depressed Black Women

If therapy is not on the table for you yet (though we should talk about that soon), here is a list of ways you can support yourself before a depressive episode hits:

• Micro-Rest > Big Routines

One breath. One sip of water. One stretch. Three minutes of nothing between meetings. Keeps depression and anxiety farther from you.

• Build your “No” Muscle

High-functioning depression thrives in overcommitment. 

Schedule non-negotiable downtime with the same seriousness you schedule meetings. Reclaim your right to self-care because, to remind you, no one is coming to save you.

A timely quote about this tip is this one from Audre Lorde about self-care, and it goes: Caring for myself is not self-indulgence; it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.

• Keep a “Proof Folder.”

This could be a real or digital folder where you collect screenshots, photos, voice notes—anything that reminds you that you’re not lazy, crazy, or ungrateful.

          🤞That client who thanked you.

          🤞That friend who said you helped them.

          🤞That one day you laughed so hard you cried.
Write them down.

• Challenge Perfectionism

Perfectionism is often trauma’s child—a response to environments where mistakes had severe consequences. 

A good question that our clients find helpful during counseling for depression is, “What happens if I’m just good enough today instead of excellent?” 

This question makes it easier for them to deal with the need to be PERFECT even when it’s affecting them negatively. You too can start small. Let one email wait until tomorrow. Allow yourself to be less than perfect. 

• Create an Emotional First-Aid Kit

On your better days, prepare for the harder ones by creating an emotional first-aid kit. 

Fill your phone with songs that match different moods.

Binge your comfort shows. Keep simple, nourishing foods available for days when cooking feels impossible.

• Be Gentle With Your Intellectual Side

Another way to support yourself when dealing with high functional depression is to  retrain your brilliance to notice and feel emotions, not just override them.

 It is learning to sit with your emotions without needing to fix them

• Create a “Bare Minimum” Plan

On your hardest days, what absolutely must get done for you to consider the day complete? 

Perhaps it’s taking your medication, drinking water, exchanging a text with someone who loves you, and completing one important work task.

So do them. Everything else can wait. Having this plan reduces the pressure to perform at 100% all the time.

• Find a Hobby That Doesn’t Get You Paid 

That urge as a Black woman to  turn everything you are good at into a side hustle or a way to help others. I know it too well. 

But Black woman to Black woman, I promise you you will love your life more when you engage in activities solely for pleasure.

Read novels. Learn something without applying anywhere. Crochet. Achieve less! 

What Black Women Should Expect During Depression Therapy

•  This is our general but definitive guide on finding the right therapist when you are a BIPOC individual so that you are not wasting your time with a bad therapist that will minimize your experience.

  When you have followed that guide to a tee, your depression counseling therapy should definitely feel like:

  • Less urge to try to be everything to everyone
  • Spotting your triggers and knowing how to ground yourself in moments of stress.
  • Getting comfortable with confrontations because you’ve built the tools to speak up with clarity and confidence.
  • Less urge to prove your worth through flawless work or behavior.
  • Learning somatic techniques to help you spot the signs within your body to Regulate the nervous system

Without support, high functioning depressive people end up becoming no longer functioning. 

Still, our Calgary-based therapists understand that you may only want to let stuff out without an expectation of different behaviors.

In the end, what matters most to us is that you let yourself want more than survival, because you MATTER!

 If you’re ready to explore therapy options tailored for high-functioning Black women in Calgary and across Canada, we offer both individual and group sessions designed with your unique experiences in mind. 

She’s just a call away, ready to support every step of your journey to ditching the guilt around self-prioritization.